“I am pleased to inform you, sir, that your plans for my daughter seem to have gone a trifle awry.” From the play, “The Man Who Came to Dinner.” Mr. Stanley has finally gained the upper hand on Sheridan Whiteside who has held him at legal gunpoint for the entirety of the show, forcing Stanley to allow him to stay in his home. Ideal for Adult Males 35-55. 1-2 minutes.
MR. STANLEY:
I am pleased to inform you, sir, that your plans for my daughter seem to have gone a trifle awry. She is not, nor will she ever be married to that Labor agitator that you so kindly picked out for her. As for my son, he has been apprehended in Toldeo, and will be brought home within the hour.
Not having your gift for invective, sir, I cannot tell you what I think of your obnoxious interference in my affairs, but I have now arranged that you will interfere no longer.
Come in, gentlemen. Mr. Whiteside, these gentlemen are deputy sheriffs. They have a warrant by which I am enabled to put you out of this house, and I need hardly add that it will be the greatest moment of my life.
Mr. Whiteside—I am giving you fifteen minutes in which to pack up and get out. If you are not gone in fifteen minutes, Mr. Whiteside, these gentlemen will forcibly eject you. Thank you, gentlemen. Will you wait outside please? Fifteen minutes, Mr. Whiteside—and that means bag, baggage, wheelchair, penguins, octopus and cockroaches.
I am now going upstairs to smash our radio, so that not even accidentally will I ever hear your voice again.
