Being an actor is an exhilarating and fulfilling career choice, one that allows you to step into the shoes of various characters and transport audiences to different worlds. It’s a profession that demands immense dedication, hard work and an ability to constantly “put on a show.” However, there’s a paradox that aspiring actors often face — while they strive to embody different roles and captivate audiences, their friends may yearn to see the “real” person behind the masks they wear.
Acting requires us to dive deep into our emotions, stretch our abilities and portray characters that may be vastly different from our own personalities. It’s a craft that thrives on creating illusions, captivating audiences, and, quite frankly, pretending. But what happens when the curtain falls, and we step back into our personal lives, where authenticity is highly valued?
As an actor, it’s common to experience a separation between our on-stage characters and our personal lives. This can result in us frequently wearing a façade, adjusting to various social scenarios and consistently scrutinizing our actions to meet the expectations of others. This performance-based mentality can cause us to feel disconnected from our friends who may desire to see our authentic selves without any filters.
It’s understandable that our friends crave authenticity, but it’s important to keep in mind that acting doesn’t contradict our true selves. Instead, it showcases our adaptability and capacity to connect with different characters. As actors, we possess the remarkable ability to step into the shoes of others and explore the human experience from various angles. We are storytellers who can tap into emotions and experiences that may not be our own, yet still strike a chord with the universal human condition.
The performance aspect of our lives shouldn’t be seen as a betrayal or a hindrance to authentic connections. Instead, in my opinion, it should be embraced as an enriching aspect of our personalities. Our ability to switch between roles demonstrates our capacity for empathy, adaptability and versatility — traits that can enhance our relationships, both within and outside the acting world.
Through the continual exploration of characters and emotions, we can experience personal development and gain a profound understanding of ourselves. Every role we embody provides us with a chance for self-examination and contemplation, empowering us to comprehend our own strengths, limitations and drives. As we assimilate these fresh perspectives and encounters, we enrich our connections with others by bringing an abundance of emotional depth to our interactions..
Of course, maintaining genuine friendships as an actor requires effort from both parties involved. It’s essential to communicate openly with our friends about the unique demands of our profession, sharing our joys, struggles and the multifaceted nature of our lives. By involving them in our journey and inviting them to understand our craft, we can bridge the gap between our on-stage and off-stage selves.
At the same time, we must also strive to carve out moments of authenticity within our own lives. In the hustle and bustle of auditions, rehearsals and performances, it’s easy to lose sight of our own identities. Taking time to reconnect with our passions, hobbies and personal interests helps us ground ourselves and maintain a sense of self outside the world of acting. By cultivating a healthy work-life balance, we can nurture our relationships and find solace in the company of friends who accept and appreciate us in all our complexity.
Quick story which sparked this article. Years ago, I was at a community lunch sitting with a friend and six or seven strangers. I knew I was going to be bored out of my mind, so I decided to put myself out there and introduce myself to everyone, which generated some great conversation. In doing so, I was no longer bored, but the excitement of making so many new “friends” at once was incredible, to say the least. I was so happy and in the moment, really enjoying myself, when my friend said to me, “Stop putting on a show.” Honestly, I wasn’t putting on a show, or at least I didn’t think so. I’ll never forget how that one sentence made me feel. And I’ll never forget how me being so outgoing and bubbly made my friend feel.
In the end, aspiring actors must remember that their friends’ desire to see the “real” them stems from a place of love and a longing for genuine connections. While the performance aspect of our lives may create occasional friction, it’s an integral part of who we are and what we do. Embracing our roles as storytellers and ambassadors of human experiences can deepen our relationships and enrich our friendships.
